I Buy Some Shoes, AND I'M READY FOR THE WEEKEND

I don’t listen to the radio. People find it amazing when I say I haven’t heard “Boom Boom Pow” by the Black Eyed Peas at all. Why should you be dictated to by someone on a hundred grand plus salary, who “thinks” they know what you want to listen to? These days, with music easily available cheap and legally, or even free in the case of Spotify (granted you can’t put it on your mp3 player), it’s just as easy to listen to exactly what you want when you want. This brings me to my next point: today I heard a song drifting through the house that had what I thought was possibly the most cringeworthy lyric I had ever heard, it went as thus, “OOOOOOOOH, I buy some shoes and I’m ready for the weekend” Admittantly it didn’t sound quite as camp as that, but it did sound bad (Even worse than some of Kele Okereke’s lyrics on Bloc Party’s third album, some of which are frankly hilarious in their rubbishness)

I buy some shoes and I’m ready for the weekend? WHAT ABOUT YOUR SOCKS, AND UNDERWEAR, AND OTHER CLOTHES????? Although taking this a bit too literally, it gives you an idea of just how irksome I found this lyric. Anyway, after just hearing this lyric, which I admit made me chuckle, I decided to find out whose song this was; turned out it belonged to a Mr Calvin Harris, and that I had misheard it, it actually was “I put on my shoes and I’m ready for the weekend”, while better, is still not that great a lyric. After discovering this Mr Harris, I then decided to listen to your song properly. And that one lyric summed up the whole song for me: not very good. Can you think of any original ideas Mr Harris? At times the autotune makes it sounds like the themetune for a childrens show, the chorus evokes no euphoric emotion as it should to me whatsoever, the intro could have been made by the Scissor Sisters, and weirdly at some later points his voice sounds like Frank Zappa, which actually is a bad thing. Compared to another song based upon the weekend subject “I Can’t Wait (For The Weekend To Begin) by Michael Gray, where the the drums are punchy, the bass is bangin’ and the synth line is a classic, this pales in comparison.

So next time Calvin, remember that making a decent song doesn’t only involve wearing a pair of snazzy shoes, it’s individuality, and finding a hook, of which your latest has neither.

5/10